Random Thoughts

1. I don’t know if Yara is my girlfriend. She’s the Egyptian girl I talk to. We’ve spent every weekend in May together. First , we went to the Met. Next, we went to the Yale Art Gallery. Then we hit 4 different dining halls — Ezra Stiles, Branford, Pauli Murray and JE. Fun fact. There was live music when I took her to the JE dining hall for Saturday brunch. I also didn’t know she’s rich af. She drives a sleek BMW SUV at 22. Social mobility lol!
2. I see my father and my siblings in my sleep. I am certainly worried. This article states, “It is also not uncommon in the weeks or days before death for a dying person to speak of being ‘visited’ by dead relatives.” However, I’m seeing living relatives. All in all, I enjoy going to sleep. I miss my father and I love hearing his voice while I sleep.
3. The Judy Blume documentary credited people by name. My supervisor at the Beinecke was appreciated. They spelled her name wrong. I’m the one who did all the scanning work. I’m the one who knows that Judy Blume regrets the ‘sexual freedom revolution’ because she got benign cancer from unprotected sex. I’m the one who knows Judy Blume’s first computer was a Toshiba T1000. I saw the personal notes she prepared for the commencement speech and I read the notes she made while on tour. Fuck I know how obsessed she was with Dr Seuss and I saw all the early versions of Fudgemania. I have handled the Judy Blume collection for the last 2 years but my supervisor got all the credit.
4. It’s July 10th and I don’t know if I can afford to take a gap year.

In May, I launched PivotJS, a React framework with the command **npx create-new-startup**. I guess it failed because the average programmer is too dumb to understand Redux and RTKQuery. Great idea to structure a React framework around Redux but not enough competent customers. I need to dumb things down. Make programmer kitsch in the silly way Mr Beast appeals to the stupid — and overwhelmingly large- YouTube enjoyers.

In June, I launched Baecho.com. I got a 6-word url for 20$ on GoDaddy and I just had to lol. Update, Yara said she isn’t interested in me

In July I launched 2 Udemy courses. FFMPEG for Video Coding Engineers and Making VS Code Snippets for Engineering Managers and CTOs. I want to launch FileForma and learn maketing.

It’s July 10th. There isn’t much to do at my Summer job working Facilities at TD. I wake up at 4. Code till 5.50. Jog from Rosenfeld to Payne Whitney. Run 5km at the track. Now it’s 6.20. Do calisthenics for 10 minutes. Run back to Rosenfeld to shower and arrive at TD by 7 am. I tend to leave work at 10 am. Then I’ll code from 11 am to 10pm.

It’s August 6th. I’m going all in on the FileForma idea. I hope to finish writing the encoder and decoder by 1 pm then spend all evening finding clients. I’m somewhat stressed. I want to take a gap year but I can’t afford it. I have enough cash for the plane trip but not enough to sustain myself without working a campus job. Perhaps I should ask my father or my brother for help. Then again, I don’t want to stress dad with any extra expenses — he’s 62, retired and done his part as a single father. My brother, on the other hand, is NEET. He quit his coding job because of mental health issues and I’d rather not to bother him. I hope I get customers today.

I’m not depressed and I’m not suicidal. These are random thoughts.